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12 Drinks and One Night

The last memory I have is of his jeans.  I remember looking down at them, wadded up on the floor, before I ran out of that fucking place.  For some reason they made me sad.  I'm not sure why, but it probably had something to do with their outdated color.  Did I really just fuck someone who wears white wash denim?

The walk to his apartment was the longest walk of my life.  I wanted to be walking anywhere and everywhere but not there.  I wanted to walk into something better, something exciting, something warm and sweet.  Instead I walked into something that was sticky and messy and filled with the stench of the sexual do or don't we had spilled up the stairs, across the floorboards, and onto the bed.

It was only for one night, but I will think about it for three or four. 

Time for Joy and Cheer

I know it's October, but it's that time of year that I start getting really excited about the upcoming holiday season.  I'm not one of those people who start Christmas shopping in June and put up the tree in November, but I do start daydreaming about decorating, shopping, baking, sleeping in, snow, and Christmas music as soon as the weather turns a bit cooler.  I've never grown out of Christmas.  It's my absolute favorite time of the year.  The Christmas season also means that I get a month break from classes, and I really hate this semester, so nothing could sound better.  It is not as though the material is more challenging than usual; it is just that I cannot get the motivation I need to care right now.  That said, I made A's on all my midterms, and I have high hopes of making a 4.0.  At the same time,  I'm counting down the days (6 weeks left). I'm ready to graduate.  I am also ready for Thanksgiving Pie and Christmas decorations and snow on the ground and a cold cold cold winter.   

It's Fall Again

I guess it is time for my monthly update.  There has been a lot on my mind lately, but since I am feeling lazy, I'm going to compartmentalize:


I'm graduating in about a year.  Now, "about a year" is still a considerable amount of time, but this is the first time in my very long college career that I have had a clear and realistic vision of actually graduating.  I'm incredibly excited.  I feel pretty done with undergrad, and I'm ready to move on and actually be around people who are my own age.  I also am buying a new car when I graduate, and will get to work full time for a while.  My plans are as follows: Plan A: Get my masters in sociology from Mizzou (or, if not Mizzou, some other school), work at the KD and Clovers while doing so, and when I graduate look into a career teaching at a community college (average salary: $55,000), after paying back some student loans and settling down a bit, go back for PhD.  Plan B:  if I suck and can't get into a grad school for sociology, consider getting an MA or other certification in Education, possibily to teach sociology or some other social science to high schoolers (average salary: $50,000).  Plan C: If all else fails, I at least will have a Bachelors, so I guess I'll just try to find some job that will pay me some amount of money that I can make a living off of.  I do really want my PhD, but I also want to buy a house, raise a family, get married, do all those traditional life-y things, and the more I think about it, the more I think I'd really ENJOY teaching sociology to community college students.  It would feel more like activism than preaching to the choir.  So, the PhD can wait, even until retirement (if retirement still exists by the time I'm 60+). 


I love buying shit, probably too much.  It's like this uncontrollable destructive urge inside me.  Luckily, I've learned how to the tame the beast by only allowing myself to buy one gratutious item a month and only at the end of the month.  That said, my one gratutious item is usually not a ten dollar t-shirt but a $318 pair of shoes or $155 pair of jeans or some other nonsense.  I don't know when or how it happened, but I've become addicted to expensive clothing.  I guess my philosophy has become that it is better to buy high-quality classic items that I will love forever and find numerous uses for throughout the years than to buy $318 worth of cheap shit that I hate within a year and/or will be falling apart in a year.  Ever since I have decided to go for quality over quantity I have loved my closet a lot more, and honestly, the $318 shoes were an anomoaly.  But fuck, I love them. I just like to look at them, and hey, they were at least made in Italy and not China.  I try to balance frivolity with practicality and buy items I know will serve me well, but in the end, fashion is 95% frivolity.  I'm ok with that.  Greg, on the other hand, must be lied to about the prices of the itmes I purchase.  Eventually I will have to cut myself off, but for now it is ok. I work hard, and I make ok money.  My bank account is never below $1000. 


Speaking of spending, here are some things I'd like to do:
  • Going out to eat--shit's pricey--I'd like to reduce this down to a ONCE a MONTH (instead of ONCE a WEEK) habit
  • Stop spending money on little food items during the week when we have groceries at home!!
  • At the end of every month, go through my banking spreadsheet and take note of how much I actually saved.  See where I spent money and shouldn't have.
Food is really the hugest expensive for me right now, and it doesn't need to be.  Greg and I went out to lunch today, and I spent $23 even though we just went grocery shopping last Friday.  If I just ate what was available at home more often, I could probably save $100 a month. 

Anyway, it's about time for a nap.

Yesterday Greg went to the Obama rally in Springfield, IL with his mother.  I couldn't go because I had to work in the morning.  So, in a fit of jealously and loneliness, I drove to St. Louis to do some shopping.  On the way, I got stopped in a traffic jam on 70, and I remained in that jam for an hour.  So when I finally made it to the Galleria , I was a bit stir crazy and went a little overboard with the retail therapy and purchased these babies:

I also bought this sweater in green
and this skirt.

This Door's for Locking

We're going to go buy our books today because classes begin on Monday.  This summer was way to hectic for me to be ready for classes again. Luckily or unluckily, my frighteningly full and intense schedule was shortened yesterday due my being unqualified to take a class.  This is good and bad.  Good because I know this semester is going to be stressful with or without that class, and I really didn't want to take a political science class anyway.  Bad because I'm graduating in 3 semesters, and I need an upper level social sciences course.  The class I had to drop filled that requirement, but now I'll have to look elsewhere some other semester.  No class remotely useful to anyone is still open this close to semester beginning. 

Anyway, back to this summer being hectic.  In the bast 2 months I have all of these amazing things trust upon me:

  • a stressful move to a better apartment
  • a bee sting turned horribly painful and gross looking strep infection in my foot
  • an exploding toilet that flooded my bathroom
  • a banking incompetence that resulting in someone passing checks through my account that were not my checks, resulting in a fight to have hundreds of dollars returned to me (won it)
  • a diagnosis of glaucoma
There have been some positives.  I bought some new awesome glasses, and I successfully achieved Missouri residency.  This means I will be getting around $6000 back from financial aid and grant money. 

Who knows? Maybe this semester will be great.  I just would like a few more weeks of sleeping in and swimming.  That is, if it ever gets warm enough to swim again.

That Pleases Me

Greg and I moved to our new apartment this week, and it is GORGEOUS.  I know that I am easily excited, but I love this place.  It actually feels like a home instead of a relatively nice place to stay while in college.   I will have to take pictures when we finish unpacking because I am sure my descriptions will not be accurate.  We also bought this new $300 fancy pancy dining set.  We got it at this "slightly damanged" furniture outlet in Centralia.  It's a beautiful dark wood with suede cushions on the chairs, and so far I haven't noticed any damage.  We also got a new, free TV from Warren to replace our old one, which had some color issues (everything was red), and I was very excited to be able to watch movies on a television again, but lo and behold, we can't get the audio to work with the DVD player.  UGH. 

Anyway, today is the fourth of july and that means good food and fireworks.  We were going to go swimming today , but the high is only going to be 78 degrees. It should still be a pleasant day filled with pleasantries.  Also I was awarded $12,000 in grant money for the upcoming school year, so life is pretty damn good at the moment.

the one eyed man is king

I'm going to go see TOM WAITS in concert tonight!

this is the most important day of my life.

Slipped Away

I'm moving into my new apartment on July 2nd, and I haven't begun packing.  I'm a genius.  Something tells me that I will have little help from my better half as I try to organize our move, and if I do get any help, it'll be in the form of me telling him something that needs to get done.  Somehow Greg is still incapable of taking any initiative.  I have a lot of shit to do right now that is kind of stressing me out.  We still need to the sign the lease (doing that today), I need to finish my student loan bs, I need to get my car fixed, I need to pay the last of my taxes, I need to hire a carpet cleaner,  I need to clean the entire apartment, I need to disconnect the internet here and reconnect at the new place, i need to pay 2 months of utilities in one month.... blah blah blah EXPLODE.

AND... the weather here sucks.  it's never going to warm enough to swim.  WHERE IS SUMMER? 

Lost Control Again

I'm at my parents' house until Tuesday.  Being here is awesome 'cause i get  to eat a lot of free, delicious meals... mmm. 

Anyway, summer is officially in full swing.   Greg and I have made a security deposit on a REALLY AWESOME apartment that puts ours to shame.  This place has everything: a pantry, bay windows, washer and dryer, a huge garden tub (i actually don't know what "garden tub" means, but the thing is huge.... like the size of two bath tubs), double sinks on the bathroom vanity, a deck, huge closets.  It is also cheaper than our current place and prettier.  Where we live now is nice, but it is so college-y.  I will miss the woods and the creek and the running trails, however. Our new lease begins July 1st, so I have a lot of packing and other BS to accomplish between now and then.  I am SO pumped! I love this place so much that it feels like I'm in love for the first time.  I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. 

Well, now that I've written about my new apartment, I am going to make a list of the books I'd like to read this summer:

  • Finish East of Eden
  • The Subtle Knife
  • Collection of James Baldwin Essays
  • White Teeth
  • Pride and Prejudice
I will probably get through more than just those five, but they are at the top of my list.  It has been so long since I have actually had time to read anything except school stuff.  I think i have read approximately 300 pages of feminist theory  every week since January.  I started reading East of Eden at Christmas, and I'm just now finishing it... mmm reading.


So a miracle of god happened, and I managed a C- in Stats.